I couldn't resist trying the thumb and finger thing again and felt the same slight 'energy' sensation. It didn't seem to do anything else. I laid it o... the bed and stood up go take a shower. When I looked over at the full-length mirror to check out my developing seventeen year-old body that I was probably unjustifiably proud of, I think my heart stopped. I stared, rubbed my eyes and stared again, but I wasn't there. It was like I was looking right through myself! I could see the room behind me. Begrudged heart separated from how it all began. I slowly came to the realization that it was out of my hands. “I do love you.” I reiterated my stance. To be shunned and castrated from your life-love demanded more than just soft words and idle threats. Yet I still cling to inane attempts at saving face or dreams “I love you,”- how foolish that must sound to the strong and the bold. “I love you,”- yes goddamn you, I wish I had never spoken those words. I found myself smiling with embarrassment. More

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