And it wasn't in general details either, but very explicit in nature, the way she described my Aunt's naked body, how she looked, felt, smelled and ta...ted as the two of them played together.I sat back trying to digest all of this. Words mom had actually used, written down in her book were words I had never heard her ever utter before. "Sucking her ... your clit," words like "fuck" which again I'd never heard her use, and yet in her diary, she used them repeatedly, though the tone of their use. Every time I masturbated, it was with a mental image of John between my legs; either his tongue or his cock.Oh, I dated Tim some but he was just there as a stand-in for my real 'throb, ' John.Now, at twelve, or so, my crush wasn't particularly sexual but in the next months and even years, it became very sexual. I wanted John to be the boy who I gave my virginity to. It's all I dreamed about.But, I couldn't act on it because John would have probably stopped things even before they got started.. More

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