"You know those cartoons when Bugs Bunny or whoever encounters somebody so big that they have to crane their neck and there's this fisheye lens effect...so the guy looks 20 feet tall? It may have been the liquor, but I swear that was what happened as the dude turned toward me. The guy's bald head, way up in the rafters of the bar, looked down on me with sunglasses and a big, bushy red handlebar mustache.From out of the moustache came the words, "Fuck off, pissant." The last word rained spittle. I turned on the brighter light to see if I could recognize her, maybe from work. ?My car’s in a ditch a mile down the road, and my cell’s out of juice!??And you walked all this way? There’s at least a dozen other houses.??I, I guess,? she said. I cracked the door open a bit and saw that she had a bruise on her forehead, so perhaps she was disoriented. I decided to let her in. She stumbled through the door once I had it opened for her. She was a cute one. Strike that; she was hot. She couldn’t. More

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