And he sometimes wondered ifhe would ever have the strength to actually say it.Caroline looked at him. She remembered the way she used to feel when sh...was younger. The fear, the preoccupation, the horrible feeling of hidingsomething important from the people you care the most about. All ofthose feelings were the ones that she saw in Carl's face... in her face.She used to be this shy and nervous kid, a boy that wasn't veryoptimistic, a boy that found really difficult socializing with otherpeople. I'm sure that she was hoping that at the last moment I would buckle and ask her to stay the night.A look of deep sadness clouded her face as she turned and walked down the path. I waved and she half-heartedly waved back. I closed the door and leant against the wall, I felt awful. I felt bad for Lena and I felt worse about myself. How was I going to keep lust and love separate? I wanted sexual gratification, just that, nothing more. Others, it seemed wanted something more profound, something. More

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