Did I just think that? Why? I love David, I don’t want to lose him. The puppet master is playing his games with me like I play my games with ever...one else and I hate myself all the more. I wish I could break free. I wish I could be me and not this complete bitch. Me and David are dancing on the patio. It has been decorated with Chinese lanterns and I can see red coated waiters moving amongst the tables that are set around the edge of the patio area and along the side of the heated swimming. I was too young and naive to realize I should have taken him every chance I could have. Maybe he was so exciting because he was forbidden fruit. Taboo – the older married man I should have nothing to do with. To just to hear, smell and taste him was so intoxicating. He really shook me up that night. I never wanted to feel anything for him but friendship or lust. There was no need for anything more with a married man as if that wasn’t a little to much already. It would be pointless to. More

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