Simon tried his hardest to stop me but his hand slipped as he grabbed my jacket, and for the next five minutes as we waited for any stragglers he had ...he torment of me whispering ‘loser, loser’ in his ear as he sat, defenceless, next to me! When it was clear we were the only people travelling our coach set out along the A4, heading west into the sunset. Simon and I were still the only people upstairs, and I think the idea had just crawled into his mind that this rather an advantageous position. I don't know. If you don't know I have to assume they're terrorists ... they showed up with a file of SAS troops and attacked our boat."SAS? Attacked your boat?" Frogmen, sir. I have eight of them shackled to the spare anchor chain. If they don't behave I'm dropping the anchor. The rest of them are at the marina dock." Why is the fucking Pommy navy interested in your boat?" Not OUR boat ... your boat ... the PT boat we donated to the Australian Navy." Junior paused, "And the Widgeon. They want. More

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