I called these dreams the Shrekening and I always woke up with my belly covered in cum wishing for a reality in which this could happen. But ogres wer...n't real and I wasn't Princess Fiona, although sometimes I dressed like her and dry-humped my giant Shrek plush with furious abandon. The closest thing to it was a guy at school who burped and screamed about nerds and looked like he should have graduated about ten years ago, or so I thought.The clock read 11:11 pm and I closed my eyes tight and. The one thing that I was particularly pleased about was that my mother employed a guy called Joe from Monday to Fridays. Joe was very adept at slaughtering and plucking chickens, a task that was simply beyond my capabilities. In return, apart from Joe’s salary, being as generous as mom was, I can assure you that Joe’s family were also very well nourished.I did not see Big Red again for the following five years after our initial meeting. By then I was thirteen-years-old and my voice had begun to. More

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