" Stop your bitching Ryan. I could have, and probably should have, done it with a cast iron frying pan."I tossed his underwear on the table in front o... him and said, "Tell me all about the lipstick you stud you."He hemmed and hawed and tried to pretend he was too drunk to remember, but I didn't let up. Then it wasn't really his fault, his buddies put her up to it, he tried to fight her off, but his buddies held him down, yadda, yadda, yadda."So you fucked her." It wasn't like that Joyce, I. She gave me a forty-five second tour of her girly parts. I swear it! Her fingers spread herself open and one polished and pointed fingernail began touching and pointing out things as her voice identified them. It was sex ed the way it should have been taught.Then she commenced to instruct me on just how to use my lips, tongue, teeth and even my nose, of all things, to make her squeal.And squeal she did.If you've never done this, you really need to try it some day. You're in for a treat. Not. More

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