''Would you like some rum?” were the first words he said to me. A lot more words followed over the course of a very drunken weekend.“I have a girl...riend. She's called Scarlett... I love her, I think. I mean, she's really hot. She's an 18-year-old online stripper you see... bit of a nightmare though, she's really c***dish.”“What do you expect from an 18-year-old?” I laughed. “How old are you?”“32. I was born on Christmas Day 1982. I am the Brown Jesus!”“I was born in July 1983 so you're six. "Nobody can make me believe that she's frigid. Maybe she's just never been turned on; maybe Uncle Paul was a loser or something, couldn't get a hard-on, came too quick. They tell you that in class, too?"His sister chewed nuts and grinned, sitting on a barstool and swinging her legs. "You really mean to try it, don't you? Man, I would, too - even if she is frigid. I kept staring at that beautiful body and found myself wondering what it would be like to love it. You know, maybe she'd dig. More

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