I stand at attention."Trying to fight a smug smile, my precious little spawn?" No mother." (Well, yeah! Of course I'm trying not to crack up, thisis...freaking hilarious.)"No comment, then? Some smart ass jest that every one of my friends andacquaintances are an old ex flame?" Why no, mother," I say in the most 'matter of fact' manner I cansummon."Estelle and I were camp counselors from summer camps that were acrossthe lake from each other, and you know, I always was a really goodswimmer.". "Take a look here, my dear, you're now quite attractive."My reflection was holding me tight as a captive.I gazed at my hair, now golden and long;I stared at my crotch, now devoid of my dong;I looked at my breasts, so full and so round,At my legs, long and tan, that went clear to the ground;I noticed my lips were bow-shaped, a la Cupid,And -- thank God -- I looked rather witty, not stupid.I imagined myself all decked out in fineryWith suitors galore to wine me and dine me.Then Mindy Claus said,. More

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