. I let him believe that's who I was. I was excited and relieved and ... confused I guess. So many people had refused to help me find him. I wasn't at...my best, mentally. As soon as I had time to think about what was happening I told him the truth." And what happened then?" asked the doctor, looking at Bob."It was like this jumble of memories popped into my head, like pages of a book, but loose, and not all the pages, and not in the right order." But you remembered who Julia Miller was,". Care to tell me aboutit?"If I could have told him, I would have. But just how do I tell my dadthat I had an irresistible urge to deny my own masculinity? How do Itell him that even in the throes of my terror, I had an inner peacethat defied telling? How could I say, that if I could, I would dress asa girl as often as I was able, maybe full time? There were no wordsthat would let me say any of that, and even if there were a way for meto tell him, how could I make him understand just how much it. More

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