[see my story, "The Wayward Daughters"]They were a grade ahead of Susie, but they lived only two blocks away, and the three often found themselves swi...ming at the neighborhood pool together. Susie found them both fascinating in a deliciously wicked kind of way. The two older girls were both cheerleaders, and it was common knowledge that the cheerleaders were all sexually active -- or as the current slang went, they "swallowed". And both were known to show up at the Dairy Crown on Fillmore. I requested ground delivery, hopingthat when it arrived, my mother would be off on one of hererrands.I listened to that CD, the track with the song (I nowconsidered it my anthem), every evening before I went tosleep. I dredged up my pain, so long repressed, andshoveled it into the furnace of hatred. I had a lot offuel. As it grew, day by day, my surface persona remainedpassive, and seemingly apathetic.There were moments when I reflected on whether I was whollysane any more. A soft, gentle. More

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