Looking back, I think that Dadmade her think that she was dying. He would ask her about the funeral andthings like that. He would feel sorry for himse...f and would curse life.My sister would also just cry. Sometimes she would sit on the end of thebed and just watch Mum and me play. My sister understood the situationmuch better than me. I think that when I was with my mother, it was notabout her cancer. It was about enjoying the moment. Mum felt like a mum;she felt alive. I didn't know that my. The first thing I did was learn all I could about guns. You wouldn't believe how much there was to learn about those things. I got interested in all kinds of guns and looked up every bit of reference material that the data bank had on that subject. Hell, that kept me busy for nearly four months before I had exhausted the data on guns.The most interesting guns I could find were those that did not use gunpowder. I got caught up in a study of the guns that used compressed air as the propellent. I. More

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