For the present--and, Gary hoped, from nowon--this one person would be Russ. By satisfying and pleasing Russ, Garycould find acceptance, an identity, ...ecurity, and, eventually, maybeeven a semblance of love.But there was another reason that Gary had allowed Russ to use him. Garyregarded himself as a loser. He was a nobody and a nothing. He was soworthless that he deserved to be punished, and, since he was infinitelyunworthy, he deserved endless punishment, the crueler the better.Through. .. and forget the rest, you know? But don't get me wrong. I think about the rest every day, every night. I still want you, if it makes you feel any better. There, I said it. I'm rambling. I have to stop talking. I loved knowing you. I'll never forget it. Really. Have a great life, okay? Bye."Laura was in tears, in the dark, with barely enough volition left to hang up the phone. It was so quiet that she could hear the traffic in the streets downstairs. The city's lights were blurred by the. More

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