But it was short lived. My mind, like my husband turned on me, making the hell I created worse than the hell I had witnessed. As I took off my clothe..., I turned to see myself in the mirror. My body was not what it used to be, and I was not in the mood to be kind. I felt so low I was ready to wallow in my own self-hatred. All I wanted to do was discover reasons why the perfect man for me didn’t want me any more. I looked at the extra ring of fat that I had around my belly. My inner thighs had. I undressed and laid the sundress and undies out on her bed and got in the shower. The water felt so good. I soaped myself all over and it felt so good. I lingered on my bottom and I felt ashamed and excited when my finger found its way to my special place. I played there for a few minutes with the warm water and soap pushing me past the edge as it always did. My legs felt weak afterwards but I wanted to be completely clean. There was a bottle of strawberry shampoo that smelled so good. More

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