I had been so desperate to get fucked for the first time that I refused to consider the risks I was taking. I had been talking online for quite awhile...before making up my mind to go through with it. All the nasty things I wrote helped get me turned on enough to follow through, but they also were coming back to bite me now.I had talked about how I wanted my first time to go. I talked about how I just wanted to get totally used. I wanted my first experience as a virgin, to give me memories to. I hated myself for wanting it, but the desire was too consuming. And, I told myself, I had gone too far already. I'd hate myself later; for now I'd just enjoy it. "Just do it already." He laughed breathily against my wet flesh. Brown, desire-drenched eyes met mine. "So impatient... What do you want?" My eyes clenched shut. Why did he have to make me say it? Couldn't we just fuck and get it out of our systems? I'd be guilty enough when it was over. Did I have to have memories of begging for. More

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