The whole shebang had a big 12-volt battery on the back. Damn. I had a maid. It wasn't much to look at in the T&A department, but what the hell ... Th...t was the beginning. The first time my big brother woke up.Last year I got stinking drunk thinking that I really needed a boost to the bank account—something that would pay and pay, but had no idea where to go. Two bottles of tequila later I woke up with NO HANGOVER and a little fanny pack quietly humming away perched on my belly. I tried to pick. . look! She can’t even get it up! ... who moans like that? ... those aren’t love handles, they’re spare tires ... he’s got to hold it or it’ll go limp! ... yeah, right, a bikini and an C-section scar ... Christ, if they had put in any more silicone she’d fall over...”For a second I thought it was just me. Maybe I was just too dumb to figure it out. But I looked around the room and met incredulous stares from the other guys. Without question, all the men had been transported to the Twilight. More

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