Stop blaming her for everything that is wrong. Stop pushing away. I needed to let her know I still wanted her. I couldn’t even respond to a personal...ad yesterday. I still wanted this. I still want her. If she still wants me, this has to work. Carefully I move one king size pillow from the great wall. I slid over a solid six inches. Still had at least two feet to go even be close to Alexa. With small normal size pillow gone, I slid further in. Nothing between us now. Unless you counted years of. But the sickness in my mind is not all that is wrong with me. I also have problems with my body. I have a brain tumor. I apparently have had it for some time. I may even have had it when we met. They don't think that it's malignant since it has taken so long to manifest itself, so they want to operate after I get out of here. They will then bring me back for observation again. I really want this to be done. I can't authorize it, since I'm in here. You'll have to do that as my next of kin. I. More

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