'Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, 'I must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhoea in the convent.' 'Thank G...d, ' said an elderly nun at the back. 'I'm so tired of chardonnay.A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. 'Careful, ' he said, 'CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE. “Your new shirts and suits are hanging up, go and get dressed now. Oh there’s also some new shoes in there for you.” She left leaving me to get changed. The bra was clearly going to be visible through the shirt but I would keep my jacket on and buttoned up. I picked the white cotton shirt out. As I put it on it seemed tight. wrong size I thought. As I pulled it together to button it up it clung tightly to my waist, it was a very fitted shirt I thought. I then realised I couldn’t button it up!. More

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