Satisfied. At least for a few moments. Thosewere the moments she stood in front of her cabinet. Watching therazorblades. Right next to the bandages, s...in closure strips and sterilecompresses. For minutes. Sometimes longer. Ramona kept coming back aswell on those days. Staring blankly into the cabinet. Not doing it madeher feel proud of herself. And disappointed. The negativity was in her,did not bled out.Maybe the loneliness added to her current feelings. She tried dating butalways felt either. I miss him more with every passing day.” Cathy went quiet again as I felt her tears spilling down on my flushed flesh. “I know. I really loved him too.” “I loved him, Jimmy, but what I miss most is having him hold me like this. I miss having him in my bed. I miss having him make love to me. Christ, I haven't had any real loving since he died.” Cathy was crying so hard now that her body was convulsing against my side. “You know, Mom, I've always...” “Stop! Please call me Cathy. We sitting. More

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