"So, just like that, all of a sudden he became a man, huh?" Julia baited.Janice stared back for quite a while before her shoulders sagged. "You're rig...t, Julia. In my mind, I've know for a long time that he was grown up. I thought that since I was so much in control, I could just keep my little boy for as long as I wanted." Delusions of grandeur, huh?" I drove him away!" Janice wailed."Yes, but on the table, he told you he loved you, didn't he?" I ... I don't know how he can," Janice sobbed.. I had it in my head that the men in my past were good men and they had turned bad when I loved them. If I took no love from a man nor gave or showed any back then not only was I safe so was my daughter.I had it in my head that both Mark and Joe were my fault. I had caused them to beat me. I deserved it, as I was a bad person as well as a bad mother. All the men in my life had treated me poorly so that was what I was used too and I accepted it.I sat there thinking that even if John did love me. More

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