I swear I could… A knock at the door stopped me murdering Pussy. “Who the hell is that>” I thought cheerily! “Maybe it’s a Christmas dildo s...lesman,” a delightful if hopeful thought. Nope. I opened the door to a wrinkly short woman resembling a hobbit; hairy snow boots giving her huge furry feet. “Hello Aunt Edith, what a surprise.” I may have been a little terse. “Were you expecting someone else dear?” “Oh no Aunt, not at all, come on in.” “I was hoping, though." I thought, but I knew it was a. Then, I feel the need to pee, and get up. ‘Be right back,’ I say, heading towards the stairs up to the bedrooms. ‘If you’re going to the bathroom, use the one downstairs,’ Melody calls. ‘What’s wrong with the master?’ Adam never takes his eyes off the television as he says, ‘It’s out of TP.’ After a second he registers what he’s said, and looks around at everyone staring at him. ‘Sorry,’ he mutters. ‘I just…it just…slipped out…’ I look at Melody. The expression on her face is horrified,. More

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