I think I heard him say he wanted to sign me up for Pee-Wee Football, which sent a real shudder of terror up my spine. My mother, meanwhile kept insis...ing that this was "a phase that I would grow out of," and that it would be more traumatic for me to be forced into activities that I wasn't eager to embrace. Fortunately, my mother gained, and kept, the upper hand in this dispute. But I knew that my time was limited. Even with my six year old mind, I realized that I would be expected to start. .. point? ... limp limp dick has a flat soft squishy head and not a point! So where's the point, or I mean what's the point? Oh shit, I don't know what the fuck I mean and you guys are too stoned anyway." And she took another swig of tequila.I struggled to my feet and staggered out of the living room down the hall to the bathroom and just barely made it to the toilet and must have stood there for two minutes peeing a steady stream of piss. I was so drunk that I had to hold on to the towel rack. More

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