A pretty and obviously affluent forty-something woman in a very short maternity dress approaches a short, dark man in the Homer Vargas wing of an erot...ca bookstore. "My God! I can't believe it," she exclaims. "You are... you must be... Homer Vargas!" What a clever surmise. How did you guess?" You look just like him." Hmm, so I've been told." You see THIS?" the woman asks, pointing to her large belly."Is my name Homer Vargas?" YOU are the cause of this!" Madam, I do not even know you, never mind. "The Hell I can't, missy! You know what I've said about sex!" I retorted.She looked confused. "Um..."I continued, "I SAID don't have sex unless you're ready to be a mother. Well, are you?" We're using a rubber..." she responded.I moved forward, to the foot of the bed. "Those aren't 100% effective and you know it. You probably didn't even put it on right. Pauly, come here." I beckoned.His name is Paul but I call him Pauly, like Pauly Shore, because of his brown curly hair. I think he's too young. More

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