I’m damaged in ways no one can reach but that damage makes me understand damage in others better. I could read Elena’s reaction to every word I sa...d, and I adjusted what I said, word by word, in response to what she felt. I started with an unusual word because we all have a mechanism in our brains to look up the meaning of obscure words, and we are very practiced at it. Using a lot of words Elena knew she should know was just adding more drops to a rainstorm of sounds she’d been drowning in,. There would be other people on the truck with us even if Tom and Mary didn't come along.We chatted the whole way to the farm which was only about 20 minutes away. I realized that one of the things that was great about my relationship with Leslie was that something as simple as going for a drive with her was fun. I always enjoyed our conversation and I never felt like there was tension to try to keep things going. If there was a lull in the conversation that was okay. We could just ride together. More

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