Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots (marked with a P) an... the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.*P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.*P: Something. Filling me. Pushing my tongue down. Dirty fucking cock. Horrible smegma collecting in my mouth. Revolting taste mingling with my saliva and burning into my taste buds. Want to gag. Want to spit him from my mouth. Spit that decaying skin across his youthful, sneering face.“All of it bitch … c’mon swallow all of it.” His fingers are tangling in my hair pressing me down. Nose pushing into abrasive tangles of pubic foliage, chin banging into the warm lightly wisped soft sacs, hairs in my mouth,. More

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