..I loved him.But I loved him too much to have him just because ... I don't know, because he pitied me? Because he felt he owed me something? I wanted...to be sure he loved me.When Su died, I mourned my friend. But it was much worse watching Jim come apart. I watched him functioning like an automaton, going through the motions of living. I sat with him, walked with him and tried to talk to him, but I couldn't get through to him.When Mrs. Price rang to say Jim was in a terrible state, I was there. I'm not sure if anything is really differentthan it was before, but I do see it differently, and maybe that makes allthe difference. We'll just have to wait and see.I'm not so mad anymore, I guess. That's one thing that's differentalready. I have to remember that, though, later on. Because the angercomes back and you can get mad at things that you've forgotten havealready been resolved.In the end, I guess the big lesson I learned is that it's not Marcia'sfault, or mom's fault. It's not my fault. More

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