But I also wanted the strange masochistic high I’d so grown to love. The one that would come from speaking to Jill, knowing she was with another guy... A guy she’d temporarily put on top of the podium as she relegated me to second place to spend time with him. It was a bittersweet and intoxicating pleasure, one that both hurt and excited and that if taken to the extreme, could have consequences I didn’t want to think about. And it was a pleasure I knew I couldn’t resist.I was just about to press. " "Umm...sure" I said, despite the fact that I'd only tried it once, two years prior, and hated it. He poured a can into a plastic cup and handed it to me. "Come on in, we're just doing a whole bunch of nothing" he said, wandering into the living room. Whenever a pang of guilt would creep into my mind for this, I'd remind myself that "a whole bunch of nothing" is what I'd be doing by myself anyway, so I might as well do it with my new friends. They taught me how to play dominoes, then we. More

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