“She’s pregnant?” Mom asked, tears starting to well up in her eyes.“No; thank God,” I said. “But he’s married and has a six-month-old so....”“I’ll cut his «яйца» off!” she spat. “Your father, on the other hand, will shoot him.”I didn’t remember hearing that word, but it was pretty obvious it was about his gonads - either his testicles or his penis. Now was NOT the time to ask that question, though.“I sent my rifle home with Dale yesterday,” I said. “For exactly that reason.”“What is Phil going to. She’d never heard a story quite like it. Then old Tom started chuckling to himself.“What?” asked Vera, hoping there may be more story, and wanting a share of the joke.“Frank seen it one day, did he ever tell ye?” “No,” said Vera, almost in a squawk, the alarm in her voice not lost on Tom.“Nay, lass, it weren’t nowt like that. We were round the back of the shed taking a leak, you know, all them beers and such, when he sees the old boy as I’m shaking it dry. He asked if I’d stolen it off one of. More

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