"You are much more rare than on in a million, my love," she said.We had a nice shower. We came out drying off, and went into the bedroom. Sammy and Da...n were in there talking. Dawn saw me and looked away. I heard her whisper to Sammy, "He is beautiful isn't he?" Hell yes," Sammy said, "but the real beauty can't be seen it can only be felt."We had a quick supper of sandwiches and milk. We talked for hours that night. We finally went to bed. I went where I belonged and didn't worry about anything. He WAS my son. I'd lived with him as my son for three years, loved him as my son ... I couldn't just turn that off. There was no magic wand I could wave to NOT make him my son.I bent and cried, my body wracked in spasms. It was not only remorse at what I'd done but the knowledge of what I'd lost. It was a wailing cry at the sudden epiphany of all that had been taken from me. It was a crushing emptiness at what that fucking bitch had ripped from my heart.I looked up at Jean; I needed her to. More

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