I held my breath waiting for the doorbell to ring, sinking my bottom lower and lower away from his hand. I quickly pushed back into position, surrende...ing to him, trusting him, and knowing I could take even more, wanting him to push me past that point. The pain felt wonderful, powerful, and raw. It pulled me down into the experience of the moment, a meditation, an all-encompassing silence of the mind. The knock at the door made me jump. I was slightly relieved as I was dangling over the edge of. Molly was no longer working. She stayed home with her daughter. There were cops constantly in and out of her house, questioning her, hoping she would remember something to help them catch the killer. For a week I watched the activity in her house. Jonathan’s most important lesson had been patience. So for a week I waited. And in that week I talked myself out of the job a thousand times. I would go home ready to tell Jonathan that I couldn’t and wouldn’t take another life. But I would get home. More

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