I did have some secrets that I was happy to keep; like the fact that I had a dead man beacon sewn into the lining of my pack. It was one of those devi...es that if they're not moved every so often they send out a mayday. It would take a few days before it would go off because I had the thing set for five days but since I didn't move the pack it would go off and help would be on it's way, I hoped.Two days later, the leader and his group came back. John was out doing something and I was just. " she says, "is... is that happy crying?" Yes, dummy!" I reply, surprised and teary, "You think I wanted the world to end?!" I don't know," she says, so softly, looking into my eyes with such sadness. "Didn't you?"I just stare at her. Of course I didn't! And yet... this life, this world... it has been my Hell for so long. Somewhere deep inside, maybe I did want it all to just end. I've tried to hide my pain from my friends, but they know. They've always known. And Dawn most of all. She thought. More

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