I tried to go back to where the kids were. It didn't work. Everyone constantly hounded me... except my kids. They still loved me but didn't have time ...or me. I moved close to them but they were always busy with their friends and other activities.I was miserable except when I was with them and that wasn't that often. So I made the decision to move back to New Mexico. I could fly them to me when they had time or I could schedule to see them.I set up a college account for both of them. Michael. I’m spontaneous to the extreme, and that makes it all worse. I know where to go to get what I want, but if I can’t get it there, I keep going. I keep pushing and asking and looking until I find someone who will give it to me. I might be looking for the kind of satisfaction that doesn’t even satisfy ME, it just makes me feel better to get all of that energy out of my system and pump it into somebody else. It’s funny because growing up, the one thing I said I would NEVER do was be like my Daddy.. More

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