I was a little surprised as Dee had never stayed out this late before. I noticed I had a text message and missed call with a voice-mail from her. The ...ext which came in at 1:56am read, "heyyy sexiy we came back to Monica's house k imm so fuking wastd!!?! gona be dropd off by tommy be home soon luv y"Now I should explain, Tommy is her bestie Monica's little brother. He's 17 and a total scumbag.I noticed the missed call was received after her text at 2:20am, playing the voice mail left, it. ..pull up yer kecks tighten yer cheeks and shuffle yourself to the nearest loo roll. Failing that you could always use your shirt-tail or one of your socks!The Splash Back DumpThis one drops like a depth charge creating a column of cold water that washes your sphincter with a startlingly unpleasant shock. Now your wet - and embarrassed if the column of water went half way up your back. Tip of the day: blot instead of wiping.The c***dbirth DumpThis one is just too big to go through the aperture. More

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