Doris told me to show you this, and hand you the phone.” He handed me a card that looked like a license which said ‘Concealed Carry Permit’ on i.... I took the phone.“Hello?”“Hi. My name is Doris. I’m a friend of Stanley’s. Do you need help? Will you tell me your name?”“Tabitha. Tabitha Stern. I don’t know if I need help or not. I just don’t know.”“Well, Miss Tabitha, I do. If you have nowhere to go, nowhere to stay, and no one to talk to, you need help. That card is a permit that allows Stanley. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations.4 There’s always some sort of deforestation protest going on.5. “Weed”.TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA1. Big rock between you and B.C.2. Ottawa who?3. Tax is 5% instead of the approximately 200% as it is for the rest of the country.4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of.5. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country.6. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia. More

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