At the same time, another guy slowly pours tequila into my navel while a third guy licks and sucks it out. I turn and catch the eye of the groom-to-be... Motioning him over, I pull his ear down to my lips and say, “a special treat just for you…your last chance to suck the nipples of someone other than your bride.” I’m pretty drunk by this time, and my judgment is somewhat impaired as I remove my bra, and the roar of the crowd reaches fever pitch. I wasn’t sure if he’d do it, but the future groom. "Do you know how many things I could have you charged with attempting here?" I spilled a handful of identification documents on the ground. "Identity theft." The keys to my Honda Civic. "Grand theft auto." Several bills of varrying denominations. "Theft, fraud, impersonating a charity." I'm actually not sure if that last one's real. "You could be spending years behind bars for this!" Honestly, sir, I'm just trying to raise money," she pleaded. Some angel on my shoulder told me this was true,. More

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