I walked into the store and up to the counter."Hello. Can I help you?" I, umm. Yes."She waited. Then I blurted it out."I know this might sound crazy, ...ut I saw you at the market four days ago and I haven't stopped thinking about you. I've looked all over the city for you and I desperately want to talk to you and I see your eyes and your yellow bikini in my dreams and I don't normally do this, but would you please have a drink with me?" I don't drink." How about dinner tonight?" I can't. I'm. People know it happens, and most call it perverted. The ones who do it just call it advanced masturbation. There was, technically speaking, no law against having sex with yourself. Still, it was my first time, and I was a bit nervous, so I asked, “Does this work?” “Oh yeah,” future me replied. “I had an awesome time. I hope it’s as good the second time around.” “I’ll do my best.” “I know,” she said and winked. My nerves began to subside; I’d not only get through this, but be eager for more. More

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