As soon as we walked in people started complementing me on the cool costume and I headed over to get a drink, I always got two drinks and I usually he...ded for a corner so Tom could quickly down his. After a few drinks we were both starting to get a good buzz and also feeling the effects of drinking so much and I needed to go to the bathroom. I whispered to Tom I needed to go and he said ok, so we headed off to the bathroom. "Hey man how am I going to do this, I can't unzip with these monster. “I want this for you, too. Hypothetically speaking ... Suppose you and I agreed to abstain until we were married -- the route my parents would prefer us to take. We go through the engagement, planning the wedding, rings, invitations, venue, cake, flowers ... the whole nine yards. We get to our honeymoon destination and when the moment arrives ... we discover I’m a phallophobe and I can’t go through with it. All that investment in time and emotion, not to mention money -- it wouldn’t be fair to. More

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