I was keeping in touch with several of my unemployed coworkers, my halfhearted attempt at networking; the boys and I often exchanged brief notes; Jean...ine and I wrote to each other sporadically, primarily just news, such as it was. After email, I checked MSNBC for a quick look at what might be going on in the world, and then played a bit with a couple of Yahoo! Groups and newsgroups. With any luck at all, that kept me busy until noon or so. I then took my walk and did my calisthenics, and. Part of me, most strangely of all, didn't even want her to remember that I existed. Part of me, didn't want her to feel bad for simply being who she was. I loved who she was, though it killed me inside, and all I could do was run around in circles inside my head, trying to ignore what I knew was true: Charlotte was cheating on me, and thoroughly enjoying it. And why shouldn't she? I didn't own her. I didn't even deserve her. She owes me nothing. Maybe we could still be friends. Maybe she'd let. More

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