Despair hits me when you do not returnin a few minutes. I'm shaking now, crying and moaning as I curl into a ballon the grass. All I can think about i... how alone I am. I'm torn up inside,convincing myself you no longer want me. It seems like an eternity, but about five minutes laterI hear your footsteps coming towards me. I look up and see you walk back intothe clearing, without my clothes. "Master!" With a choked sob I scramble to my knees and crawl towardsyou, flinging my arms around your. One of the reasons my anxiety is through the roof is my illness took my ability to do deep meditation which I have done since I was in my middle teens.When I was younger I had the feeling that a lot of young people people do of being an outsider. I also had the unfortunate experience of having it reinforced a whole lot. Now, being an outsider does have a perk or three. One is you learn to watch behaviour objectively and see how contradictory humans are. Two is as an outsider you can move along. More

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