A man came around the corner of the building and my heart beat even faster and as he passed me he was looking me up and down and smiling and then he w...istled at me. God that was the boost I needed to do what I was about to do. I smiled really big to him and said thank you and he said no problem bitch. I knew right then I had made the right decision coming out dressed as a slut.I was going to have lots of fun tonight As I entered the building I walked up to the cashier and paid my 10 dollars and. That was what I had to do.But of course to get the fags I had to find someone to fuck me formoney. That scared me too. What if I lost myself in the experience?What if I couldn't find my way back?But I had to. After I had done it I could buy the cigarettes and get mybrain in order. By that time I would have sobered up some.And, I reminded myself, it was foolish to give this experience upbefore I had fully experienced it. If I did this - had sex before Iwent back, at least I could feel that I had. More

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