Mary had always reminded me of Melissa Joan Hart, while Jill was the image of Drew Barrymore."Why aren't you eating John," asked Jane. "Don't you like...the food?" Tell them why you are not hungry John," Amanda said menacingly."Because Amanda and my mistress shit in my mouth before we came out, and made me eat it," I blurted out, my face crimson red.The three women looked stunned for a second, then burst out laughing."Uncle John is a shit eater!" screamed Jill."He's a fucking toilet mouth!" added. " From the time I was 10 and figured out that thinking about the Pretty Blonde Girl in my class would somehow make my penis stand up straight, until I was 15, I hadn't so much as kissed a girl. I *wanted* to, of course. And once I figured out what to do with a hard-on once the effects of thinking about the Pretty Blonde Girl had set in, I became quite the expert at jerking off to fantasies about what I'd do with the PBG…if I could ever talk to her, that is.But I wasn't the ladies' man I wanted. More

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