It’s all wrong. We can’t live in the past or try to recreate it. Don’t you see, it’s all a fantasy we’re trying to live.” I shook my head....“No, it’s not a fantasy, not at all. We love each other, don’t we? That’s not pretense, it’s real. Okay, it’s not ideal but surely these hours we spend together are better than nothing. Better than the thirty years we spent in the wilderness, surely?” It was Gaynor’s turn to shake her head. “No Richard. As much as I love being with you, it’s tearing me. It made a real impression on me because one of the things I feared the most was drowning. The sight of the young girls being drowned on one end and screwed on the other was both terrifying and pitiful. Of course, most of them were allowed to survive the creative ordeal to sustain further indignities much too disgusting to put into my diary. I remember in particular a close-up facial shot of a blond girl who reminded me of my executed sister showing in minute detail her expression of dismay and. More

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