The air broke. I swear I heard the baby breathe in before the hellion screamed out crying. I had tears in my eyes. I was smiling so hard it hurt.“It...��s a little girl,” Vanessa’s voice had shrank some. “You’re a strong woman. The next one’ll be coming soon.”“He’ll be out soon. He’s just already a mama’s boy and doesn’t want to leave,” I assured Rena. Her rigid grasp of my hand felt loosened, felt ghostly.“And set the clamp, thank you Nurse.” My screaming little ball of sticky was in the arms of. We had no “relationship.” Sure, we liked each other, but I knew that would fade. Was I just going down his rabbit hole, a hole that would eventually consume me? I knew that even though I was a highly sexual woman, I had to maintain boundaries—he would assure I had none. I made a hard decision; I could never see him again.A few months after that agonizing decision, I started my blog. It stemmed from my efforts at journaling. Never having the daily discipline to keep a diary, I did occasionally. More

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