That night when the lights went out, I was wide-awake. I was going tojust take one of her bras out of her hamper and change her back. Ireached into my...box spring to get the medallion, but this time Ifelt... NOTHING.I reached all around, thinking it fell, thinking it may have shifted orsomething. I wound up on my back, underneath, with a flashlight,looking everywhere, but it simply wasn't there. I sat there for aminute, stunned. There were 3 possibilities. Mary or mom had found it,a stranger had. And grayer. And cold, sad. I beckon you to me and you climb onto my lap. My arms encircle you as you curl up. I feel larger than I am. Stronger. I hold you, stroking you hair and back through your sweatshirt. You are shivering. You may be crying. There is wetness seeping though my shirt. I hold you and rock a little bit until the shaking stops. I will my warmth into you, breathing slowly, holding and stroking. In time - how much doesn't really matter - you sigh. I feel an ember of warmth. More

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