" In my mind I was so thankful to Meera for her timely idea. At that point I was indeed trying my best to avoid probing my body by a male gynecologist... but little could I guess that this ashram visit would actually be a shameful remembrance for me lifelong. The way I was exploited in the name of "diksha", in the name of "treatment", and in the name of "jagya" makes me feel so ashamed even today, after so many years. I was exploited so very cleverly and emphatically at every level and my desire. Once there i started talking abt just how badly i needed money. One of them agreed to help me but if i fucked him. and I said yes. So the next day he called me over to his house. When i went there i had a little surprise waiting for me. As he was not alone but he had a camera with him.He said that he wanted to record our sex. I had always herd abt such things but cming accross one such incident really made me feel strange. Actually i felt excited and horny a tdoing this. So i agreed as he was. More

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