Katie stared at me like I’d lost my mind.“That’s gotta be your friends, Ben. You should probably get the door.”“Honestly?” I half-screamed... I scooped up my phone, keys, and wallet. Katie looked worried.“What’s your deal?” she said. “Quit being weird and get the door.” Still barely awake, I relented and ran to the stairs. What was my deal? Either I was straight-up delusional or Katie was playing games. Regardless, I was late for work.That morning, after Derek made me shave in the rear-view. Such times were rare because I discovered it depressed me to share her. Although the seven bucks came in handy.Sometimes she purposely did or said things to guarantee fierce discipline. Such as asking me, "Are you working hard or hardly working?" That trite quip always led to the crop crashing on her ass like Babe Ruth swatting a wiffle ball. Her other ingenious ploy was to lie across my lap and defiantly inform me she was voting for Trump AGAIN. I required rotator cuff surgery after those. More

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