I go get a tall glass of vodka on ice and go to my room and lock the door. After doing my bathroom necessaries, I crawl into bed. I lay in bed forever... drinking the vodka, sometimes crying and sometimes not. Sometime around 4am, I finally fall asleep or maybe pass out. I wake up and it’s almost 1pm. I don’t want to get up but I have to pee. I go to the bathroom and then get a drink of water. After the bathroom, I crawl back into bed. I don’t feel like being up. I’m not hungry. There’s a knock. She begged my father to take me with him on his next voyage instead, arguing that months away from William would do me good and the exposure to the world would educate me. Finally he agreed. The first few weeks I spent mostly alone in my cabin. I had a few books which I read and reread, but soon I became bored. For a while I amused myself daydreaming. I'd imagine William riding a ship after us to save me. There would be a tremendous battle and which he would win, and then he would threaten to. More

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