“I have a gardener,” Alan explained.“It’s beautiful,” I told him.As soon as he opened the door, two giant St Bernards rushed him, covering h...m with their kisses. He was on his knees loving them back. “Pete and Repete,” he told me, after a silly joke on Monk, an old TV show.Inside, he took me on a brief tour. I wanted a much briefer tour, one room in particular. There was a swim pool, spa, and huge brick patio in the back; dark, masculine wood flooring; beautiful, big kitchen. “My favorite. "Ok, but then you and I are going to have a nice, long talk, Little Missy. Privately." I shot what I figured was big, bad, mean daggers at her with my eyes. Apparently not. She laughed."Oooh! Ok! Privately! Yes! Let's do it, big guy! I've been waiting for this!" Then she turned beet red and hid her face in her hands as she realized what she had said. "I... I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. Well, maybe I did, but... Oh shit, I'm sorry, Patrick. I shouldn't be saying that so soon after... Oh God,. More

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