"So do it you stupid child," she insisted.I had no idea what was about to happen when quite improbably she squatted down and started to do a wee on th... polished floor."Bleedin' hell!" I swore, "No damned wonder it leaks and stinks, haven't you ever heard of lavatories, Thomas Crapper, Armitage Ware and all that?" "And in your small minded world have you no knowledge of water sports?" she asked."Certainly have," I said, "Surfing at Newquay, Jet Skis, water skiing, but not pissing on the living. This was so much more thoughtful and personal than an email or IM. This was his way of saying we weren’t getting divorced when I got back. The time and effort he put into creating this letter was far more valuable to me than any gift he could have purchased. And the poetry of it. He might be a nerd in the 21st Century, but in the 18th, the ladies would have been lining up for a piece of him. ‘Bask in the warmth of your presence as a rose resumes its growth when revived from the chill of the. More

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